Monday, June 18, 2007

another year older

As I begin my 39th year, it seems appropriate to ruminate a bit on the passage of time.

The most significant thing I've noticed about growing older is that time speeds up. A week just isn't as long as it used to be. It's simply a matter of proportion: when you're ten years old, a year is a tenth of your life; when you're 40, a year is 1/40 of your life, and it takes four years to make one tenth. At ten, three months is 1/40. Sounds about right.

My 20-year high school reunion is this summer, and I don't have a lot to show for those 20 years, just two university degrees. I don't have a career, or a family, or even a social life. That was all supposed to happen during the past decade, but I've had an illness instead.

They say life begins at 40. I think that the Marshall Protocol makes that a very real possibility for me. I'm hoping to start in early July, and that means that on my 40th birthday, I'll have been following the MP for nearly two years. By that time, I should be feeling better, and able to work and travel. My CFS will be well on its way to permanent remission.

But of all the symptoms I am looking forward to losing, the most exciting for me is brain fog. I would love to have a fully functional brain again.


Laurie said...

Happy Birthday!

Laura said...

Thank you!

Jen T. (soon to be E.) said...

Hope you had an good birthday! :)

And don't worry about the whole "society's timetable" thing on the family stuff, blah blah blah. Why should anyone let the world dictate when we "should" do certain things? We are far too complex of creatures for that. :)

Laura said...

I appreciate your thoughtful comments, Jen, and you are exactly right! I'm not terribly worried about it, just stating facts: by society's standards, I don't have much to show for the last decade! I don't say it for sympathy; realizing that I'm nearing my ten-year anniversary of getting sick has simply caused me to take a long hard look at some of these issues, and stop pretending I'm not sick. It's just a part of my reality. But about the family thing, in fact in my own family are no fewer than three examples of very happy marriages that were made when the brides were 50! :-) One of them lasted more than 30 years. Maybe I'll expand this to a post later.